His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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