O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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