hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We need to get me chipped asap
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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