I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
