Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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