shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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