I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
