Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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