I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
