worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
