So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
