its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
