Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
