Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
