Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
