did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize