sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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