My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
