apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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