Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
