my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I will pee on everything he values.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
