love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
