The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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