That's intense
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
