My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
