Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
