hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
