I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Acid is not a monday night drug
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
