So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize