I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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