1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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