my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
