Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
