Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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