And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
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Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
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I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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