He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am available for nakedness
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
