I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
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he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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