So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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