I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
