He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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