absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
