This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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