thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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