I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
