Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
