why didn't you poke me back
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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