he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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