i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
