rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
