That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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