i permit you to call me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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