i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
