I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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