great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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