New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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