The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
