i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
