I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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