Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
