When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
