i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize