So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize