I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize